


Catnip

by OofyDoofis



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cats, Comedy, Fluff, Lots of Cats, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OofyDoofis/pseuds/OofyDoofis
Summary: Greece seeks help from Japan after he experiences a little catnip problem.





	Catnip

Japan looked up from the book he was no longer immersed in. There were sounds of hurried footsteps in the hallway, heading towards the living room, where Japan was currently relaxing. The footsteps stopped in front of the door, and it promptly burst open. Greece stumbled into the room, falling and landing flat on his face with approximately fourteen cats clinging to his shoulders and back.  
  
Japan chuckled and calmly put his book to the side. He moved to attend to his friend, kneeling beside him. "What happened, Greece-kun?" he asked with a mix of concern and amusement, petting one of the cats with a passive smile.  
  
"I made... a mistake... Hnnn..." Greece moaned, face still pressed against the floor. Japan noted that he did not seem to be in pain, but just looked very uncomfortable. He picked up one of the cats, whom seemed to be extra fidgety, and waited for Greece to explain.   
  
"I thought that... It would be nice... To bring my cats... some catnip..." Greece muttered miserably.  
  
"Ah, yes, that would do it." Japan carried on petting the cat, who was struggling to get back to its target.   
  
"I... got some in my hair!" Greece turned his head to look at his only current non-aggressive companion. His face was full of dismay. "They... keep licking it...!"  
  
Japan smiled. He leaned over and ruffled Greece's hair, creating a surprisingly large pile of catnip on the floor. This triggered the cats' sharp sense of smell and caused a stockpile of cats to envelop poor Greece in a suffocating heap of fur.   
  
Through the mewling, purring mess, Japan heard a soft whine.   
  
"Haha, okay, that's enough." Japan murmured, removing the cats from Greece's overwhelmed figure. He shooed them out of the room, throwing them a toy to keep them preoccupied. What remained on the floor was a trembling and slightly traumatized man.  
  
Japan assisted Greece in sitting up and ruffled the last of the catnip out of his hair. He immediately noted that Greece's hair was really soft. Softer than you would expect. Japan made it a goal of his to pet his hair again soon.  
  
Though, catnip now coated the entire floor. It needed to be cleaned. Japan kept a broom and a lint roller in the corner of the room, and now was the time to use them.   
  
Greece watched closely as Japan rolled up the last of the catnip. When Japan pulled the dirty sheet off the roller, Greece made a small sound and pointed to his shirt, which was covered in cat fur. His eyes conveyed a strong message of "Will you please get this for me?" that Japan simply had no power against. He scooted up to his friend and rolled the roller around. Greece instantly relaxed. He seemed to enjoy every little back and forth motion very much. If he had the ability to, he would purr like a cat, very loudly.  
  
When he finished, Japan took a moment to dispose of the sheets and return the lint roller to its place. When he came back, Greece was opening yet another packet of catnip, a small army of aroused cats gathered around him. Greece seemed pretty excited as well.  
  
Japan walked up and gave Greece a gentle glare of criticism. Greece responded by looking up at him and shaking the packet side to side, smiling sweetly. This was a battle of will.  
  
Japan was conflicted; should he take the dangerous substance away from his spirited friend, or allow chaos to ensue yet again? Inside him, there was a voice that wanted to see the result of a second onslaught of catnip, but Japan knew there was a right thing to do.  
  
"Greece, no." Japan scolded, advancing toward his current adversary. He reached over and took Greece's catnip straight from his hand. Hopefully, the hard part was over now.  
  
There was a moment of blankness from Greece. Dread stirred in Japan's stomach. Greece looked Japan straight in the eye and said, "Give it back," his eyes narrow with betrayal and challenge.  
  
At this point, Japan's only option was to respond responsibly. "It is too dangerous. Do you want to suffocate at the hands of your cats again?" He unconsciously held the catnip in the air above Greece, as you would a tennis ball for a dog. This did not make the man happy.  
  
As any provoked creature would, Greece sprung up and snatched the packet, making a run for the door. This took Japan by surprise, but being a man of experience, he sprinted towards the exit. He beat Greece to the door, blocking his only escape. In an instant reaction, Greece hissed and got into a defensive stance, ready to battle for his freedom.   
  
"You're being irrational!" Japan scolded, a little bit offended that his friend hissed at him. He tried to approach Greece, but Greece seemed to be in full feral mode. He was swiping at Japan with bared, unstoppable fists.  
  
Japan, meanwhile, was freaking out. The situation had escalated beyond his capacity. He froze, unable to make a decision in time as a Hellas Punch™ was flying towards his unprotected figure. Japan closed his eyes, ready to accept his fate.   
  
It never hit him, though. Japan opened his eyes. He looked down. The catnip packet was gone. Extreme frustration bubbled up within Japan, quickly being replaced with shame and guilt at his failure. He looked back up. Greece was standing over the newly assembled group of cats, holding the unopened packet above them. All of the cats were fighting each other over who would be closest to the elusive catnip packet.  
  
He looked upset. Now Japan was upset, too.   
  
"What is it, Greece?" Japan asked softly.  
  
"I thought the catnip would make them happy," Greece responded. "But now they're mad and fighting each other over it."   
Greece gazed up at Japan, his eyes glistening with regret. He was almost tearing up. Greece always gets himself in these situations, doesn't he... Japan sighed.   
  
"Greece, let's put this catnip away." Japan motioned for his sorrowful friend to follow him into the kitchen. "Perhaps the cats will cuddle afterwards," he said with a small tilt of his head. His friend nodded and followed without opposition. They found an empty spot in the spice cupboard and left the catnip there.   
  
At this point, Japan and Greece were both mentally and physically exhausted. The cats looked ready to nap, too. Around this time of day, in the afternoon, was when they both took siestas. A shared glance between the two said everything. Greece led the way to the bedroom, the army of cats following, Japan in tow. This wasn't an unusual occurrence.  
  
By the time Japan entered the room, all of the cats were beginning to settle on the bed, kneading the blankets and what not. Greece was waiting for Japan, a soft, tired smile on his face. He motioned at the bed, suggesting that Japan can choose whichever side he wants.   
  
Greece does this every time they nap together; even though Greece always wants the side closest to the window, he lets Japan choose which one he wants. This gives Japan such a warm and fuzzy feeling. As he usually does, Japan chooses the furthest side of the bed.  
  
It was difficult shifting the cats around to get a spot, but eventually Greece and Japan were both comfortably situated. Greece was facing inward so the afternoon sun warmed his back. Japan was facing away, toward the other wall. It usually turns out like this.   
  
It was a little warm with all the cats, but Japan was able to doze off within a few minutes. Japan often wonders how long it takes Greece to fall asleep. One would think instantly... However one time when Japan awakened a moment after he fell asleep, he rolled around and Greece was blankly staring in his direction. He may have been asleep, or maybe not... Japan went back to sleep shortly after, but still bothered him when he woke up. It would be weird to ask, though, so he never brought it up.  
  
The world came to life again as Japan woke up. The scene was as it always is on days like this. The sun was almost setting, most of the cats were gone, and Greece was right up against Japan. His arms were wrapped around Japan's waist and his face was buried in Japan's shirt. It was as if every ounce of his strength was devoted to keeping him close.  
  
It used to disturb Japan, after all, Greece was rather strong. But after a while it came to be normal. It was comforting. Japan shifted around to face Greece, who was still asleep.   
  
It's an opportune time to pet Greece's hair again.  
  
Japan softly stroked his friend's hair. It was silky, comparable to a cat's fur: smooth, lustrous, creamy... It was like heaven. A moment of absolute bliss.  
  
Japan's petting roused Greece, however. He hugged Japan tighter for a second, then pulled away and sat up, blinking the sleepiness from his eyes. Japan tilted his head in a message of "Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed your nap!" Greece smiled at this.  
  
It's almost 7pm. Dinnertime. Greece perked up as he remembered this. He gently smirked at Japan, a challenge to him to cook the best meal he's ever made. This is how it usually goes.   
  
...  
  
Cooking a meal with Greece around is a difficult task for Japan. He stares silently at whatever Japan is doing, whether it be chopping vegetables or stirring a pot. It makes Japan uncomfortable, but it must be so. After all, Greece was his #1 customer.  
  
As he arranged the food onto plates, Japan smiled to himself; Greece was drooling. He only did this when he's super focused on the food. He must be starving. Luckily, his wait was over. Japan picked the plates up and moved them to the table, Greece following directly behind. They situated themselves at the table, ready to dig in.   
  
Japan was about to start eating when Greece tore his eyes away from his plates and looked at Japan, pointing out, "Ah... you forgot the seasoning." This appeared to be true... Japan must've been distracted by Greece's behavior and forgot.  
  
"I will go get it." Japan said quickly, embarrassedly marching over to the cupboard and grabbing the nearest thing, which was usually the seasoning that he puts on everything: salt. He absentmindedly opened a packet and spread it over Greece's plates. He was a second too late to realize what he'd done.  
  
Greece was horrified for two very big reasons. First, his entire dinner was ruined. That was not the correct seasoning for a meal like this. Second, the cats were approaching. Soon they would be all over the table, swarming and making a huge mess. For the seasoning was not salt. It was catnip.   
  
Japan realized this much before Greece did, however, and reacted instantly. He picked up the plates and raised them in the air, out of harm's way, and rushed into the next room, where the rest of the meal would not be affected. All of this happened before Greece had a chance to comprehend it. Now the room was empty, and he had no idea why.   
  
A loud variety of screeches came from the next room over, the living room. That must be where everything went, Greece figured. He got up and peeked his head in. Japan was in the corner, overwhelmed by an uncomfortable amount of cats, holding the plates high above his head. He looked about ready to feint.   
  
Greece watched in terror as one of the cats jumped right onto Japan's shirt, which unbalanced him and brought him right to the ground. The cats cheered as they swarmed the plates, and Japan as well, for he still had the packet of catnip. A solitary noise of dismay rose above the endless meowing.   
  
Greece rushed forward, determined to save his friend. He dove into the messy pile of cats, wrapped his arms around his stunned friend, and pulled him from certain doom. Together they looked upon the pile. There was no controlling it now.   
  
"Should we... finish dinner?" Greece offered after a minute.  
  
"It appears that your food is on the floor, though," Japan responded not very optimistically.  
  
Greece seemed to have some big, bright idea slowly hatch in his mind. It was easy to see from his facial expression: blankness slowly growing to excitement. "I could... cook something to eat!" Greece spat out as if it was the beginning of a revolution.  
  
Japan had to stop this idea from developing any further. There's an important reason Greece is not the one who makes the food around here. He is probably the least creative person in the universe when it comes to cooking. One time, he put slices of bread on a plate and called it a meal. Japan wonders how he gets nutrition when he's alone.   
  
"Greece-kun, you may have my portion of food- I can just heat something up from the refrigerator-" Japan started worriedly, but Greece was already dashing out of the room, looking delighted. Japan sighed. He'd have to go along with it for the day.  
  
When he reached the kitchen, Japan was instantly amazed. Greece was matching Japan's every action from when he was making dinner earlier. He cut all the vegetables the same size that Japan did, stirred every pot for the same amount of time that Japan did, and carefully arranged the food in the same way that Japan did. It was unbelievable. Greece set the perfectly made dishes on the table and sat down. Japan was awestruck.   
  
"I guess he was paying attention for a reason," Japan thought. Though apparently he actually spoke that out loud, for Greece responded with a "Mm. It looked fun. And it smelled good-"  
  
"Oh," Greece cut into his own sentence, "I forgot the seasoning as well." He got up and located the salt, and got ready to sprinkle it on, but hesitated. He looked over at Japan with a questioning look. He was not able to properly observe this part.  
  
Amused, Japan took the salt and sprinkled it on to his own dishes, making sure Greece got a good look. He then handed it back to Greece to let him proceed. Japan turned to sit down and instantly heard a woosh. Looking back, he couldn't contain his laughter. The top had come right off the salt shaker and all of the salt had fallen onto Greece's food.   
  
Greece reacted and pulled the shaker up but the salt had already been long gone. He opened his mouth and only after 4 seconds was he able to get out an "Oh..." His blank silence starkly contrasted Japan's laughing fit until Japan finally recovered and gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.   
  
"You can take my dish, I can have this one." Japan moved the salt-filled plate and replaced it with his, getting out his last few wheezes. Greece still seemed to be comprehending the salt spill situation, though. Japan had to restore the peace. He picked up a spoon and held up some food to Greece's mouth. It was the only thing he could think of.  
  
"O- Open up, Greece-kun!" Japan felt really stupid but hopefully this would being Greece back to reality. Greece obeyed the command, and Japan made an awkward airplane sound and put the spoon in his mouth. Greece's shock seemed to melt away quickly. He took the spoon, sat down, and started eating the rest of the meal. Japan followed suit, and together they finished the dinner with no more interruptions.   
  
...  
  
It was now around 9pm. Japan finished his meal, and was waiting for Greece to eat his last few bites, which were always the longest ones. "I'm going to check on the cats," Japan said. He got up and headed to the living room. It was the aftermath of a war; the floor was scratched up badly, catnip seemed to be in every spot it could reach, and there were cats scattered everywhere. When Japan stepped into the room, most of them got up and ran out, but a select few were just too out of it to move. All in all, it was a room full of regret.  
  
With a sigh, Japan realized he'd have to clean it all up. Not while Greece was here, though; it would be rude to leave his gues- Japan suddenly felt a presence behind him. He turned, and Greece was less than an inch away. Startled, Japan flinched back and was about to say something, but was interrupted.  
  
"Let me help," Greece demanded softly, looking rather intensely at the messy room. Japan ceased his attempts of speaking and stared at his friend. Greece's gaze shifted to Japan, who was suprised but so deeply touched that he instantly pulled Greece into a short hug.  
  
Japan pulled away and excitedly bounced into the room, going off to get the broom. Greece had no idea why Japan was so happy, but went along with it anyway. His contribution was gently picking up cats and transporting them into the bedroom, then comforting them until they purred. This process repeated until all the cats were safe and happy. By the time Greece finished though, Japan was already done sweeping and was gathering the catnip into a dustpan.   
  
Greece brought the trash can over and Japan disposed of the troublesome substance. With a lid on the can, it would cause no more peril. Japan slightly raised his hand for a high-five, and Greece gently patted it in response. The whole ordeal was finally over. No more catnip.  
  
No more energy, either, though. Greece was just about asleep already, and Japan was in that state of I'm-super-tired-and-my-mind-isn't-working-quite-right. They both seemed to realize this, and gave each other that look of "I can't go on anymore, sleep is calling me."   
  
Japan started slowly for the door, but Greece stepped in his way, scooped him up, and carried him there instead. Japan smiled, which made Greece smile, and they headed to bed together.  
  
End.


End file.
